It's really amazing what the human body and mind can handle, even more so with the right attitude and more importantly a solid support system! I have no memory of feeling healthy, feeling good. None. For me this is a normal part of life. There are people who are born with a chronic illness that handle it gracefully and then there are those that become very bitter about their situation. Please don't judge those who become bitter, because i've always been sick i know that the "world" of gracefulness and the "world" of bitterness are so close that they over lap just a tad bit in places. Its easy without the support of those around you to step into that bitterness world. If ever you come across someone that has found themselves stuck in that world show them grace and compassion it may be the only time that day they get anything like that. I feel lucky to be in the gracefulness world but that doesn't mean i've not gotten mad, broken down, lost hope, or even faith and slipped into bitterness. After all we are all only human! I'm in a bad flare up right now and the one doctor in the state that treats my condition is too sick herself to practice medicine anymore so i'm left in the hands of doctors who are trying to learn the ropes. I thought i'd be frustrated about this but instead i've been amazed at the willingness of these doctors to learn as much as they can and to ask me what has worked best in the past. I don't know how this flare will end. It could end as fast as it came on, i may need a day in the out patient hospital for a quick tune up or this may end up needing a hospital stay to get things under control. Only time will tell so for now i'm holding strong to my support and being lifted by prayers!